Why should I care?
Do you ever feel that you're screaming but no one can hear you? Do you ever feel like lashing out against the world while you lay still? Do you ever want others to feel your pain and watch them suffer instead of you? I do. God help me, but I do.
I’m an HIV victim and I’m dying.
I feel… damn, now I sound just like another Katy Perry song. The next thing you know, some cheap star fountain from divisoria will come out of my tits! Bitter much? Maybe.
Let’s try this again. I’m not a stupid person. I read, watch and surf the news like any other person. I’m a proud Filipino who screams for joy if Manny Pacquiao wins in boxing, or Gilas wins in basketball or even Megan in the beauty pageant. But now that my end is coming, I find it harder and harder to give a damn about the problems facing my fellow man.
And why should I? Why should I care who will be the next vice president of my country in the next 6 years if I’m not even sure I am still alive by then. Why should I care about the 4 billion pesos ransom demand of the Abu sayaff, when none of that money will go to my treatment? Why should I care about the “laglag-bala’ scam when I have no plans to go abroad because of my sickness? Why should I care if the price of onion skyrocket when there is a big possibility that by next planting season, I will be part of this vegetable’s fertilizer?
I guess what I really want to ask is why should I care about the problems of my country if my country doesn’t really care about my problems?
There are no direct institutions or groups out there that can support me and I feel so alone. Maybe it’s my fault. I didn’t get tested earlier until it’s too late. Doctors can only “manage” my disease but not cure it, and I’m definitely sure that I do not have the financial resources to do some managing. And so do my parents. I do not want to bury them in debts for procedures that ultimately only design to prolong my sufferings. And so I left them and stayed with friends. For how long I have no idea.
I am nobody, but I still want to be heard. Before I simply become another echo that fades away.
Do you think that's too much?
Note: This is a patient's testimony
Author: Tuts Pacio
For: Caduceus Medica
Subject to copyright
Do you ever feel that you're screaming but no one can hear you? Do you ever feel like lashing out against the world while you lay still? Do you ever want others to feel your pain and watch them suffer instead of you? I do. God help me, but I do.
I’m an HIV victim and I’m dying.
I feel… damn, now I sound just like another Katy Perry song. The next thing you know, some cheap star fountain from divisoria will come out of my tits! Bitter much? Maybe.
Let’s try this again. I’m not a stupid person. I read, watch and surf the news like any other person. I’m a proud Filipino who screams for joy if Manny Pacquiao wins in boxing, or Gilas wins in basketball or even Megan in the beauty pageant. But now that my end is coming, I find it harder and harder to give a damn about the problems facing my fellow man.
And why should I? Why should I care who will be the next vice president of my country in the next 6 years if I’m not even sure I am still alive by then. Why should I care about the 4 billion pesos ransom demand of the Abu sayaff, when none of that money will go to my treatment? Why should I care about the “laglag-bala’ scam when I have no plans to go abroad because of my sickness? Why should I care if the price of onion skyrocket when there is a big possibility that by next planting season, I will be part of this vegetable’s fertilizer?
I guess what I really want to ask is why should I care about the problems of my country if my country doesn’t really care about my problems?
There are no direct institutions or groups out there that can support me and I feel so alone. Maybe it’s my fault. I didn’t get tested earlier until it’s too late. Doctors can only “manage” my disease but not cure it, and I’m definitely sure that I do not have the financial resources to do some managing. And so do my parents. I do not want to bury them in debts for procedures that ultimately only design to prolong my sufferings. And so I left them and stayed with friends. For how long I have no idea.
I am nobody, but I still want to be heard. Before I simply become another echo that fades away.
Do you think that's too much?
Note: This is a patient's testimony
Author: Tuts Pacio
For: Caduceus Medica
Subject to copyright